NO, NO, we haven't any street lamps in our village. But, if we haven't any lamps we've got four crooks still, to hang them on. In this way we look all right in the summer because folks think we have lamps ready to bring out in the winter.
I don't
know what to say really. It was a difficult decision to make. See what you think.
Mr Drinkrow gets on his feeat in Cooncil Meeating and saays:
'Noo we've getten a Parish Cooncil we owt ti deea summat. At backend and in winther pleeace is as dark as pick. Wen there's neea moon yoo can eeasily drahve strait inti pond and wen hoss maks a blash yoo mun think yoo wer off ti be drownded.
Rooads is that mooky yer want yer gaters on, even if yoo are onnly gahin ti choch. Women gahin ti choch can't see if there is onny solid rooad wen caht ruts is filled with watter. If it wahn't for Lollipop shop, yoo wadn't know wheear yoo were. We want soomm o' this heer 'cetyleeane gas.'
THOMAS: Acetylene gas. Is that what motor cars use to dazzle you with? Why, how many lamps do you suppose we shall need?
MR DRINKROW: Aw, mebbe fower.
MATTHEW: Ay, but hoo mich will it cost in rates?
MR DRINKROW: Whya, it weean't cost thoo a deeal o' brass - mebbe sixpence a yeear.
JOSEPH: It will keep some folks away from church. They'll stop away and never put their heads round church door again, so they can rake up enough money out of their collection money to pay their rates.
MR DRINKROW: Noo leeak heer, Ah'll show oor friend hoo he weean't loss nowt - he'll hev fahve bob's woth o' comfort, an' he'll save his sixpence in beeat-blacking.
GOOARGE: Whya, Ah deean't knaw, bud Ah think ah sal vooate for 'cetyleeane gass, if it will mak tonnups and sike like grow efther soondoon.
ABRAHAM: Now this is what I think. Who is going to light the lamps and go round after bed time to put them out, when it's cold and blowing a gale?
MR DRINKROW: Ah'll get mah man ti deea it for a month, by which tahme yoo mun find a man ti tak ower. Noo, if yoo've said all yoo want ti saay Ah propooaze we get lamps.
THOMAS: I can't see anything against it. I second it.
GOOARGE: (quickly) Ah thod it.
The motion was seconded and thirded and they all raised their hands for acetylene gas, and Mr Drinkrow was to get the lamps and the chemicals to make the gas.
The village was bright enough for a month - it put paraffin oil in the shade and then the Parish Council met again.
They wanted to know why Mr Drinkrow had put a lamp right in front of his own house instead of exactly in the middle where it seemed it would have shown up the cows in a grass field. (Mr Drinkrow didn't know, but Thomas's wife's aunt kept the Lollipop shop)
MATTHEW: It's ower breet by hawf and it costs ower mich for a village like oors.
JOSEPH: I counted the folks in church and there hasn't been any more there since we had the road lighted.
ABRAHAM: I've spoken to a lot of men and no one will take on the job of looking after the lamps. They say they won't turn out at night when everybody else is warm in bed.
The last to speak was Gooarge
GOOARGE: From wot Ah can see childer run aboot at neet like animals in Wombwell's beast show, insteead of getting yam in a deeasent tahme.
Mr Drinkrow was put out and the lights were put out for sale, and fetched not a quarter of what they had cost. There won't be any lights for the cows in the field now. But in the daytime it's all right for you can still see the crooks in the village, where the lamps could be hung, and so you know we had an idea.
